I said I would tell the story of how I ended up living in Tennessee and starting my own little business. Here it goes.
I was born and raised in Sunny Southern California. This time last year I was working as a Project Manager/CSR for a small advertising and print company. We had been struggling through the economic downturn, but I thought we were on the right track to getting back on our feet. I was trying to drum up new business, going out to networking mixers, joining networking groups, setting up a Facebook page, etc. I had the best interest of the company, and myself, in mind.
A good friend was one of the owners of the company, so I felt pretty safe. It was a small company and we were running pretty lean but, I was sure that with my efforts in trying to get new business AND my friendship with my boss, was enough.
Well, the new year of 2010 started and very soon into January I was called into my boss' office. She was going to have to let me go, she said. Things hadn't turned around fast enough and they were having to layoff people, I was one of them. I sat in utter and complete shock. Surely this wasn't happening. Out of the 3 people in my department, I had the least seniority and she and her partner felt that this was the only fair way to decide. "But," I said, "I have been trying to bring in new business, you told me that I would have a job with you, what am I going to do now, I'm all alone." I couldn't help it, the shock and panic was setting in, and I started to cry. (I know, there's no crying at work.)
I packed my stuff, and went home, still in shock. Had this really happened? I've never been fired or laid off of a job. I left a pretty secure government job to come to this agency, to help build it up. I was told I had a future there. What was I going to do? Of course my crazy mind started playing out all kinds of doomsday scenarios, I was going to be homeless, living in my car, having to sell all of my worldly goods. I couldn't fathom that this had actually happened to me.
As I sit here thinking back on this just about a year later, I still feel that pain. I take things personally. Rationally, I know it wasn't personal. That it must have been a tough decision, but emotionally I'm devastated and feel betrayed. I reached out to my support group, calling my brother and my best friends. Sobbing on the phone line.
My brother called me back sometime later and made a suggestion, "Why don't you come out here and stay?" Out here was Chattanooga, Tennessee. Now, whenever the suggestion of moving out to Tennessee had been brought up in the past 3 years since he and has family had moved out there, I scoffed. "Are you kidding me?" I would exclaim. "I'm NEVER going to live in Tennessee. I'm a California girl." Well, when he suggested it this time, I didn't scoff, instead, it felt like a lifeline being thrown out. The seed had been planted and as I was sobbing laid in my bed, with tissues all around me, I kept thinking..."why not?"
So I started formulating a plan. I could move out East and figure things out. I could take some time off. I could regroup in a safe place where I didn't have to worry about being homeless. It had been decided, I was moving to Tennessee. I was going to take a sabbatical and figure out what to do next. It was an opportunity to reinvent myself, I said. I packed my stuff, rented a moving van, said a sad goodbye to my family and friends and my California lifestyle and headed out East.
I arrived in my new town, poetically, on my birthday, February 17, 2010. My first couple of weeks was spent settling in. Fortunately for me, I have a generous and helpful family. My brother had a big house and so I had plenty of space. Kind of like my own little apartment within the house. They were happy to have someone from home here with them. What a great situation.
Just before I had gotten laid off, I had cashed out a small retirement fund. I was going to pay off my bills so I could be in a better place. Well, that money would help support me for the next year. I did pay off my bills, and I had enough leftover to think about traveling. I had always wanted to travel but could never afford it nor did I have the time off to be able to do it. Now I did. I'll talk about my travels in another blog, as this novel of a post has gone on a long time. LOL.
My time off led me to thinking about what I wanted to do. What new career did I want? Did I want to go back to school? Did I want to become a hairstylist maybe? Did I want to become a teacher? What did I want to do? For the time being, I just wanted to be. Didn't want to think, and stress out about my future. I told myself I wouldn't make any other big decisions for a year. I had made a big enough one moving across the country. It was time to just be. Now some people think I just gave up. That I ran away from home. Some people said I was brave, to face the unknown and just step off that cliff. Who was right? Maybe it was a little of both.
Now, you can only do nothing for so long. I've worked pretty much since I was 15 years old, even earlier, babysitting, selling candy in the summers, etc. It seems like I was pushing that rock up the mountain only to have it come crashing down on me when I got near the top. I was burnt out. I had just come out of an especially bad year for me emotionally. I needed a break, but now I was feeling restless and I needed to do something. As I stated in an earlier post, I had an idea to make some crafty gifts. Why then, couldn't this be a business? I bought some books and did online research on starting up a home-based business. So the idea was coming to life. Now what?
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